Just Mum - from the family
Recently a close friend was trying to write Eulogy for her mum, she spent many hours and composed a beautiful tribute. We wondered about being in her shoes and what we would say about mum, well she was "Just mum" really and we put the thought to the back of our minds, until now.
Just Mum, just Molly, just Nanny. The word Just it didn't seem a very fitting word to describe someone like mum so why did it pop into our minds? Some meanings of the word Just so the thesaurus says are definitely not appropriate - aloof, dispassionate, but most of them were, decent, dependable, good, conscientious, reliable to name a few. But Just Mum was far more than this, she may not have climbed Everest, run a marathon or travelled the world, she was generous, kind, happy and liked nothing more than looking after her family, relatives and friends.
We teased her that her motto in life was "If it moves feed it!" Anyone who came in to house was greeted by "would you like a cup of tea, a sandwich? or something to eat?" and nothing would make her happier if you accepted. This did not stop at people, we had the fattest blackbirds in the neighbourhood who feasted on sultanas, one we called Little Plum who squawked continually until the bag of sultanas arrived. Our rabbit Fred was given a cup of tea in a saucer every afternoon and our cat Suzy, adored by mum, was treated like a queen fed daily on freshly cooked Colley filet. Mum took the whole food thing very seriously and whilst growing up there was always a cooked meal for us every evening. When Rosie's friends stayed over after a night out she left a glass of milk and chocolate fingers by the bedside, which after a few drinks usually, but not always went down well!
If you could get a degree in sandwich making Mum would have achieved a first with honours. Sandwiches for picnics, usually for the beach, all in grease proof paper bags contents of which meticulously labelled. She was known and remembered for these skills, recently an old school friend asked about mum and said fondly that she always loved coming up to our house sitting on the our front doorstep in the afternoon sun eating the most amazing egg sandwiches. She came on many holidays with us all over the years, and again when planning our day out it was started with - well I will make the picnic up and the sandwiches. Sometimes it did not go according to plan and once she served up some ham sandwiches with bread which had turned green for our friend John which gave us enough ammunition to tease her for years!
Sandwiches seems an odd thing to bang on about but this what mum liked doing, looking after family, friends or whoever she met, she liked to be useful, help us and feel that she was needed.
Mum always had time to listen. We would go to her with things that caused us great excitement or worries, issues and mull them over with a sandwich and cup of tea.
She excelled in her seasonal homemade dishes : Mince pies, Christmas puddings, Orange trifles and jam tarts. Ahh! those Victoria sponge birthday cakes with butter cream.
Mum was very generous and as youngsters we were thoroughly spoilt with copious toys and games at birthdays and Christmas.
We were always popular in junior school as our birthday parties were enjoyed by all , with traditional party games and lovely homemade cakes, jellies, trifles and sweets.
She cared about people she met, and this was returned by affection for her, in particular nurses were in tears when she departed hospital after a successful operation at Haywards Heath Hospital and only last month we witnessed the same response from her daily carers at the news of her passing.
She loved being Nanny Molly and adored all her grandchildren. She baby sat, took them to school, looked after them when they were poorly and helped with homework. They were surprised at some of her skills. No one could beat her at table tennis and she was a mean boules player.
She enjoyed participating in charity events with her very good friends and neighbours Vera and Alec where she would spend many a happy evening with them repairing and cleaning donated toys.
Mum loved busying around behind the scenes making sandwiches and tea in the kitchen listening to a happy event unfold around her. Life in the background was where she seemed happiest just going along with the crowd ,very accommodating to all around her. She would often side step the question if asked for her preferences, but that masked a very stubborn streak when it came to change, so we always knew what mum didn't want and didn't she dig her heels in!
Our Mum being a part of our lives for so long now leaves a great void, we all have so many memories and it is impossible put everything down in words, so mum, this is only a few words, it does not really even start to sum up your life, but we just wanted to say from us all, thanks you for being you, you have cared for us, shown kindness, patience and touched all of lives in this room in some way and we are truly grateful.
All our Love to you dear Mum.